I don’t know about you but this week I’ve had a challenging time focusing on my priorities.  Of course I could just blame it on Mercury retrograde, but I won’t, so here’s how it’s been.  I start my day with my plan of action in place but I’ll make the crucial error of checking my e-mail first thing and then whoops, it’s down the Internet rabbit hole I’ve gone.  You know the scenario.  There’s a highlighted link you’re enticed to click on.  It seems worth checking out, so you follow that trail which inevitably leads to another offer and another.  It’s a virtual pin ball game with your attention darting from one piece of information to a video tutorial to an educational podcast to a relevant report to . . . 
   You get the picture.  And before long, the day has dwindled away and neither you nor I have accomplished the very tasks we actually planned to attend to.  It’s essentially crazy making.  It truly is Internet induced attention deficit disorder.  Granted, our attention is constantly being lured, seduced, pulled, and yanked whether we’re on line or off.  But the temptation is multiplied exponentially when we’re on line.  Keeping your eye on the prize – on your priorities – is tested virtually second by second. 

   So here are some thoughts on how to stay focused in an attention grabbing universe – on line or off.  First, set your priorities.  Knowing what you want to focus on is critical.  Then, do that task or project first.  Begin your major task of the day before you consciously or unconsciously invite distractions your way.  This optimizes the likelihood that you’ll accomplish your most important task and tend to it with concentrated effort.  
   Second, set a specific time of day when you’ll do things like check e-mail, listen to phone messages, and read your snail mail.  Third, set a time limit for how long you’ll read e-mails and how long you’ll allow yourself to wander the net.  Set your alarm or schedule alerts so you know when to stop.  And fourth – stop when the alarm or alert sounds.  No cheating.  
   Time is one of the basic foundations of our lives.  Existentially speaking, we never know how much of it we’ve got left, so focus on what matters most – your priorities.  
   Please share your thoughts and comments below.  What helps you stay focused in a distracting world?

   Last time we began our conversation about New Year’s re-solutions and goals.  To continue our discussion let’s talk today about obstacles.  There’s no doubt that no matter how clear you are about your goals, obstacles will inevitably come your way.  Some people even give up before they’ve begun, simply because they’re afraid the obstacles will be so overwhelming that achieving their goals will be impossible.  So let’s face this fear.  

   The first rule of thumb is to accept that obstacles will arise.  Acceptance is a big word, and ironically, one that we often struggle with.  But since the reality is that obstacles exist, we don’t need to struggle.  We just need to embrace the reality that yes, they will come our way.  

   The second rule of thumb is to ask yourself, what will you do when the obstacles appear?  Because there are many obstacles you can prepare for in advance.  Think this through carefully.  What do you anticipate will get in the way of achieving your goals?  Write these obstacles down.  If we use “loving my body” or “eating healthfully” as an example of a goal for the New Year (re-worded into a positive statement from the much more commonly used words of “losing weight”) what are some obstacles you can anticipate running into?  Two possibilities are: eating out with friends who order ice cream sundaes for dessert.  Or seeing your kids munch potato chips and chocolates right in your face. 

   So let’s put our heads together and brainstorm how to respond to these predictable situations.  If you know your friends are not weight or health conscious, do you really want to share meals with them?  Be honest with yourself.  Committing to your goals can mean making major changes in your life including being around people who will truly support your healthy choices.  If you want to continue eating out with your ice cream eating friends, can you commit to ordering a fruit cup for dessert?  Will you feel satisfied?  Or will you recapitulate by eating some high caloric sinful food when you get home?  So think it through and decide if eating with those people is really supporting you in attaining and sticking with your goal. 

   If you’re part of a family, your healthy eating plan is only going to work successfully if the whole family eats healthy foods.  It’s really a strain on your will power to have enticing treats around the house for everyone else but you.  Sure, you can invest in those food safes we’ve all seen marketed on Shark Tank, but wouldn’t it be easier and cheaper to not bring the crappy, seductive foods into the house in the first place?  So the point is, plan for what can go “wrong,” or lead you astray, and be pro-active in preventing the situation from happening in the first place.  Then know what your plan of action will be if your predicted scenario does happen.  Just like you have an emergency exit strategy in the event of a fire, you want to have an equivalent strategy in place to cope with foreseeable difficulties that will sabotage your goals.

   Now of course you can’t foresee everything, so when surprise obstacles come to pass, what are your strategies then?  Here are a couple of clues.  What gives you strength?  What gives you genuine, lasting comfort?  Is it reaching out to friends?  Is it contacting a buddy who can help you keep to your commitment and hold you accountable?  Is it seeking the guidance of a trusted professional coach?  Is it nurturing yourself by taking a walk in the sunshine, savoring a hot cup of tea, or curling up with a great book?  Is it re-reading your goal (that you wrote down and carry around in your purse or wallet and also posted on the bathroom mirror), and reminding yourself of your commitment to yourself?  Is it re-connecting with your core heart’s desire – the one that’s motivating your new behavior and actions?  Is it expressing your feelings of frustration through journal writing or creative expression?  Is it remembering how far you’ve come and how well you’ve dealt with previous obstacles?  And celebrating those mini-successes? 

   Whatever strategy works for you, use it over and over.  That way you’ll create new grooves in your neuronal pathways that will become stronger each time you move through a new obstacle.  And it will get easier to stay on your true path with each new obstacle.  You might even begin to appreciate the obstacles because you’ll have become so adept that you realize each obstacle is making you stronger and more resilient and getting you that much closer to your desired goal.

   Please share your comments below.  I’d love to hear what obstacles you can foresee and your plan for handling them.  And please share your strategies for handling unexpected obstacles.

   Until next time, to your success!

   Welcome to 2015!  The New Year is a poignant time of new beginnings.  It’s that time when many of us make resolutions to improve our lives.  Now I have to admit that I’m not fond of the term “resolutions.”  Why?  Because the word sounds so heavy handed and legalistic.  I suggest using the much simpler and achievable word “goals.”  But if you prefer using the term resolutions, that’s just fine.  What I ask of you then is to please look at the word and see that what it really says is re-solutions.  In other words, resolutions are our opportunity to find new solutions to those desires and wishes we hold dear. 

   Now that’s a crucial key.  Are the goals you’re setting for the New Year, or any time of year, dear to your heart?  Are they goals you sincerely want for yourself?  Or are they goals your family or spouse wants you to have?  Or goals that society has imposed upon you?  The only goals that truly have a chance for success are those that are personally meaningful to you.

   The first rule of thumb with resolutions or goals is to get quiet internally and tune into your heart.  What is your heart’s desire?  What’s your mission?  What do you really want to accomplish in your life over the course of this year?  Once you’ve established your goal, write it down.  Let’s say your goal is to lose 30 pounds this year.  Great!  Then ask yourself, why do you want to lose the weight?  What’s underneath that desire?  Is it that you want to look fantastic?  Is it that you want to attract a mate?  Is it that you want to feel energetic?  Or that you need to control your diabetes?  Understanding what’s really at the core of your goal is the key to achieving it.  So reframe your resolution or goal by stating the real purpose you have in mind and write that down. 

   Next, be sure you’ve phrased your resolution or goal so that it’s a positive statement.  Losing weight is really a negative statement.  Here’s why: while the intention behind the statement to lose weight is meant to be positive, the reality is we don’t like losing things.  That makes us feel like, well, losers.  But what we really like is to gain things.  We like finding things.  We’re built to take action towards things, rather than to battle against something.  So that’s why it’s so important to understand what’s at the core of your goal, what’s the real desire, and stating it in a positive way.  Because then you’re motivated and inspired to take action.  And taking action is the only way you will achieve your goals and resolutions.  And you need to connect to that motivation and inspiration because along the way to achieving your goal you can be assured that things will get tough and there will be obstacles to overcome.  It’s the connection to your source of inspiration – your true desire – that will keep you going when things get tough. 

   We’ll continue our conversation about goals and achieving success next time, so stayed tuned.  And in the meantime, please enjoy this podcast about New Year’s resolutions from Super Talk Radio Mississippi when I was interviewed by Kipp Gregory of the JT Show. 

   Wishing you a Happy New Year!  Please share your thoughts and comments about New Year’s “resolutions” and your special goals for 2015.