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Not Feeling So Grateful?

11/26/2014

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   Thanksgiving is around the corner, heralding in the holiday season of cheer.  But what if you’re having a hard time feeling grateful?  What if life’s been tough?  How do you celebrate Thanksgiving and the winter holidays when your heart’s filled with loss, sorrow or worry?  I was asked these questions and many more during numerous recent interviews this week and last on radio stations around the country.  These issues resonate with people regardless of geography.  These are issues of inner geography—relating to the map of our hearts and souls.  
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   I invite you this week to listen to one (or more) of these radio interviews, recorded for your convenience.  They are filled with insights that can help you navigate this sometimes internally dark time of year.  Just click on the link below, choose the podcast that most appeals to you, sit back, and percolate with ideas of how you too can find gratitude even in the midst of difficulties.

   http://www.counseling4thesoul.com/about-cheryl.html

   Please share your thoughts and reactions to the podcast(s) in the comments below.

   In the interim, I wish you a Thanksgiving filled with meaning and authenticity.  
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Power of the Spoken Word

11/19/2014

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   As a guest speaker on three radio shows this week I was acutely reminded of the power of the spoken word.  The sweeping reach that a voice can have through a medium like radio—or books—is profound.  Yet equally as profound is the power of the spoken word in a one-to-one conversation.  I remember words people said to me years ago.  The kind words continue to give me encouragement.  The mean words can continue to hurt, if I let them.  You know how brutal criticism and put-downs can be.  And you know how uplifting kind words can be.  Taking this awareness to heart, I strive in my work and life to put people “up.”  I’m not always successful but I consciously do my best.



A kind word is music to the heart
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   How can you and I best use the power of the spoken word in our daily lives?  
Here are two simple keys:  
  • Thinking before we speak is one.  
  • Realizing and remembering the power of the spoken word is the other.  
Because once it’s out, what we say can’t be retracted.  We can try to correct it, but the effect has already been released and it’s as hard to control as a genie that’s escaped from its bottle.

   Words can have magical powers.  Here’s why.  The words we speak can become prophecies. Studies have shown that teachers who encourage and believe in their students form students who are more likely to surmount difficulties and ace their studies.  Coaches who inspire their players form teams that win in more ways than one.  Parents who give their kids words of support help to form children who grow to become more confident and positive.  Couples who tell their partners every day how much they love them have better relationships.  Friends who inspire their friends with caring words  foster loyal friendships.  And bosses who give positive and helpful feedback develop faithful, hardworking employees. 

   What words have been most meaningful to you in your life?  What are the kinds of words you want to offer to those around you?  Please share your comments below.

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Taking Time for Introspection

11/12/2014

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  It seems an oxymoron that to live fully we might need to temper our outgoing, onward pace.  And for those of us wanting to constantly move forward, focusing internally feels counterintuitive.  But in order to go in the right direction with our lives, we need to take the time to stop, pause, assess, and discern.  Is the direction we’re headed really the right one for us at this time?  Do we have the skills, tools, and awareness to get there?  Or is there more refinement necessary, recalibrating necessary before we proceed?

   Like the trees that shed their leaves this time of year, we too, are given this seasonal opportunity to look at the barebone form of our lives.  Fall is a time of essentials.  Of seeing more clearly who we are in our essence. Of seeing more clearly what we truly want.  And of ascertaining how to get to where we truly want to go.  

   Where do you want to go?  And what are the tools you need to get there?  I invite you to slow down and share your thoughts and comments below.

   “Today is a good day to die.” These words are attributed to Crazy Horse, the Sioux leader.  Its meaning is akin to “carpe diem,” seize the day.  When we live with that spirit—that every moment counts, it can push us to constantly be on the go.  There’s so much we want to accomplish and achieve.  And especially as the autumn daylight grows shorter, it reminds us that time is of the essence.  We’re driven to take action while there’s still light.  There can be a discomfort, a sense of pressure, a race against time.  Yet the fewer hours of daylight can be an invitation to slow down.  The impending darkness can beckon us to travel inward. 
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What time is it, really?

11/5/2014

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   I’m writing this blog post on the day we turned back the clocks to standard time.  It triggers many thoughts and feelings.  Yesterday it was noon at this time, but today it’s 11am.  It seems a form of time travel.  Can we go back in time?  Is this our version of back to the future?  What if you could go back in time, just one hour?  What would you do differently?  Was there something you said that you later regretted? Or something you enjoyed tremendously but cut it short to go do something else on your long to-do list?  How would you live your life if this moment was all you had?  

   Turning the clocks back also triggers issues of change.  When we changed the clocks to daylight savings time back in the spring, I griped about it.  After all, things were just fine the way they were.  But now that I’ve long adapted to that change, it’s being switched around again.  And as with most human beings, change is challenging.  It’s the most reliable thing in the world, but it’s something we tend to resist—even when we pray for change.  It’s been scientifically proven that it takes about a month to adapt to a new habit pattern.  So in about a month we will have adjusted to this new time frame.
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"How did it get so late so soon?"  Dr. Seuss
   But what about other changes—self-determined changes you actually desire in your life?  Have you warded them off for fear of change?  If they were imposed on you, like the time change, and if you knew that within a month you could develop some ease, some trust in them, would that give you the courage to experiment with them?  

   This particular time change—when we “fall back”—and are granted with the once-a-year gift of an extra hour in the day—also triggers both gratitude and grief.  Gratitude that today holds the opportunity for more joy, delight, accomplishment.  And grief that if only I had an extra hour every day—how much more I could accomplish!  Lack of time is one of the biggest obstacles Westerners cite as preventing them from achieving their goals and dreams.  Yet we all have the same 24 hours/1,440 minutes a day and 168 hours/10,080 minutes a week.  Within those same hours and minutes some people manage to pursue their dreams and others, sadly, do not.  Which one of those people do you wish to be?  What did you do with your extra hour last Sunday?  What would you do if you had an extra hour every day?  

   Please share your thoughts and comments below.
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    Author

    Cheryl Bartky is a counselor and coach, dance/creative arts therapist, spiritual director and author of Angelina's Prayer.  To learn more please visit:
    Counseling4theSoul.com


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