How can we deal most effectively with criticism?  This seems a worthwhile subject.  Because whether we request it or not inevitably criticism will come our way.  And it seems to come regardless of how hard we work or how high quality our work may be.

   Recently I received anonymous criticism and it certainly had its impact on me.  I offer my coping process as a potentially useful example to you for those hopefully rare moments when undesirable feedback visits you. 

 “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” 
― Theodore Roosevelt

   Then I cleaned my house.  Cleaning under these circumstances always helps me feel better.  It’s physical, mood shifting, metaphoric and pragmatic, helping me to get rid of what’s no longer needed and creating a neat and orderly environment for me to spring into forward motion.  Then, miraculously I received an email with unexpected positive feedback.  After thanking that individual for her kind words, I wrote thank you notes to people who have been helpful to me throughout the year, re-focusing my attention on gratitude.  And then I got busy with my continual and on-going daily work tasks.  Because whether or not the feedback I receive is critical or positive, life goes on.  And in the greater scheme of things, nothing in my life had significantly changed.  No one died.  I didn’t contract a fatal illness.  I will continue to do the work that I know is my soul’s calling.  I’ll use the criticism as fuel to enhance possible weaknesses.  I’ll forge ahead with my daily work and spiritual practices.  And I’ll continue using my words to heal and help.

   How have you coped with criticism?  Please share your comments and feedback below.

   The winter solstice is almost upon us.  It’s a pivotal moment in time, when the distance between the forces of light and dark becomes the most extreme, and then like a sigh, shrinks incrementally.  The beauty of this least light-filled day is multi-layered.  For me, the first beautiful message it brings is that within the very darkest of times lives the promise of the upswing of light.  This speaks to me of hope and its eternal presence hidden deep within our difficulties. 

   The second beautiful message the winter solstice brings, is that our human nature is wired to create light in the very midst of darkness.  The winter holidays of solstice, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Diwali, all share in common the theme of light and the cross cultural knowing that regardless of our faith tradition we are all light seeking, light creating creatures.  

   The third beautiful message of the winter solstice is the reminder that our primal nature is to gather together during dark times to nurture, protect, and support one another.  Our social traditions of winter holiday gatherings are at their core the expression of this deep human need to huddle together for connection and comfort. 

   And lastly, the winter solstice speaks to me of our resilience: that no matter how dark life can sometimes feel, we have the innate capacity to transform our circumstances into light, be it the light of wisdom learned from difficult experiences or the lightness of laughter to lift the heaviness of the situation.

   How do you transform dark times into light?  What are your methodologies?  Please share your comments and thoughts below.

   These past weeks, with my many radio interviews, it’s been an accelerated time of speaking, conversing, and expressing thoughts, feelings, and experiences.  In my blog post a few weeks back I wrote about the power of the spoken word.  Today, I’d like to focus on its opposite: the power of silence.  It may seem ironic, but silence really does have a sound.  Have you heard it?  I hear it as a vibration, a hum, the sound of the world, the heartbeat of the universe, the motor of life itself.  Listening to it gives me a great sense of comfort and peace.  As a predominantly introverted person, I love silence.  I thrive on it.  It allows me to really hear what is going on within me and without me.  It’s almost an oxymoron, but it’s through the silence that I can really hear the sounds of life.  

   Silence is challenging for many people.  Not knowing what to say feels awkward.  We feel vulnerable, ill at ease.  Silences in conversation are typically avoided.  When they occur we experience them as dreaded spaces that immediately need to be filled.  But what if we simply listened to the silences?  What if we immersed ourselves into them and enjoyed them?  What if we approached them like the rests in music?  The silences can then help punctuate the rhythms and melodies of our conversations, our emotions, our activities, our lives.  After all, our hearts aren't constantly going boom, boom, boom.  They beat and pause.  Beat and pause.  It’s in that space of quiet, of rest, that recuperation happens, that a shifting takes place; that an awakening can occur.