Coping With Criticism

   How can we deal most effectively with criticism?  This seems a worthwhile subject.  Because whether we request it or not inevitably criticism will come our way.  And it seems to come regardless of how hard we work or how high quality our work may be.

   Recently I received anonymous criticism and it certainly had its impact on me.  I offer my coping process as a potentially useful example to you for those hopefully rare moments when undesirable feedback visits you. 

   At first I wasn’t terribly bothered.  I didn’t let the words go into my heart or gut.  I saw them objectively as words of one anonymous person’s opinion.  But then I obsessed a bit and thought about what they said.  Was it true?  I didn’t think so.  No one else had ever given me equivalent feedback.  But what if they were right?  Then I felt sad, but only for a short while.  Then I doubted my ability.  Maybe I wasn’t really all that good.  I talked to my husband to get his take on the situation.  That helped.  Then I looked online to see how others have dealt with similar situations and that gave me useful information and an objective perspective.  And in the process I stumbled upon this great quote which at the time seemed wonderfully synchronistic:

 “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” 
― Theodore Roosevelt

   Then I cleaned my house.  Cleaning under these circumstances always helps me feel better.  It’s physical, mood shifting, metaphoric and pragmatic, helping me to get rid of what’s no longer needed and creating a neat and orderly environment for me to spring into forward motion.  Then, miraculously I received an email with unexpected positive feedback.  After thanking that individual for her kind words, I wrote thank you notes to people who have been helpful to me throughout the year, re-focusing my attention on gratitude.  And then I got busy with my continual and on-going daily work tasks.  Because whether or not the feedback I receive is critical or positive, life goes on.  And in the greater scheme of things, nothing in my life had significantly changed.  No one died.  I didn’t contract a fatal illness.  I will continue to do the work that I know is my soul’s calling.  I’ll use the criticism as fuel to enhance possible weaknesses.  I’ll forge ahead with my daily work and spiritual practices.  And I’ll continue using my words to heal and help.

   How have you coped with criticism?  Please share your comments and feedback below.