The winter solstice is almost upon us.  It’s a pivotal moment in time, when the distance between the forces of light and dark becomes the most extreme, and then like a sigh, shrinks incrementally.  The beauty of this least light-filled day is multi-layered.  For me, the first beautiful message it brings is that within the very darkest of times lives the promise of the upswing of light.  This speaks to me of hope and its eternal presence hidden deep within our difficulties. 

   The second beautiful message the winter solstice brings, is that our human nature is wired to create light in the very midst of darkness.  The winter holidays of solstice, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Diwali, all share in common the theme of light and the cross cultural knowing that regardless of our faith tradition we are all light seeking, light creating creatures.  

   The third beautiful message of the winter solstice is the reminder that our primal nature is to gather together during dark times to nurture, protect, and support one another.  Our social traditions of winter holiday gatherings are at their core the expression of this deep human need to huddle together for connection and comfort. 

   And lastly, the winter solstice speaks to me of our resilience: that no matter how dark life can sometimes feel, we have the innate capacity to transform our circumstances into light, be it the light of wisdom learned from difficult experiences or the lightness of laughter to lift the heaviness of the situation.

   How do you transform dark times into light?  What are your methodologies?  Please share your comments and thoughts below.

   These past weeks, with my many radio interviews, it’s been an accelerated time of speaking, conversing, and expressing thoughts, feelings, and experiences.  In my blog post a few weeks back I wrote about the power of the spoken word.  Today, I’d like to focus on its opposite: the power of silence.  It may seem ironic, but silence really does have a sound.  Have you heard it?  I hear it as a vibration, a hum, the sound of the world, the heartbeat of the universe, the motor of life itself.  Listening to it gives me a great sense of comfort and peace.  As a predominantly introverted person, I love silence.  I thrive on it.  It allows me to really hear what is going on within me and without me.  It’s almost an oxymoron, but it’s through the silence that I can really hear the sounds of life.  

   Silence is challenging for many people.  Not knowing what to say feels awkward.  We feel vulnerable, ill at ease.  Silences in conversation are typically avoided.  When they occur we experience them as dreaded spaces that immediately need to be filled.  But what if we simply listened to the silences?  What if we immersed ourselves into them and enjoyed them?  What if we approached them like the rests in music?  The silences can then help punctuate the rhythms and melodies of our conversations, our emotions, our activities, our lives.  After all, our hearts aren't constantly going boom, boom, boom.  They beat and pause.  Beat and pause.  It’s in that space of quiet, of rest, that recuperation happens, that a shifting takes place; that an awakening can occur.  

   Thanksgiving is around the corner, heralding in the holiday season of cheer.  But what if you’re having a hard time feeling grateful?  What if life’s been tough?  How do you celebrate Thanksgiving and the winter holidays when your heart’s filled with loss, sorrow or worry?  I was asked these questions and many more during numerous recent interviews this week and last on radio stations around the country.  These issues resonate with people regardless of geography.  These are issues of inner geography—relating to the map of our hearts and souls.  

   I invite you this week to listen to one (or more) of these radio interviews, recorded for your convenience.  They are filled with insights that can help you navigate this sometimes internally dark time of year.  Just click on the link below, choose the podcast that most appeals to you, sit back, and percolate with ideas of how you too can find gratitude even in the midst of difficulties.

   http://www.counseling4thesoul.com/about-cheryl.html

   Please share your thoughts and reactions to the podcast(s) in the comments below.

   In the interim, I wish you a Thanksgiving filled with meaning and authenticity.  

   As a guest speaker on three radio shows this week I was acutely reminded of the power of the spoken word.  The sweeping reach that a voice can have through a medium like radio—or books—is profound.  Yet equally as profound is the power of the spoken word in a one-to-one conversation.  I remember words people said to me years ago.  The kind words continue to give me encouragement.  The mean words can continue to hurt, if I let them.  You know how brutal criticism and put-downs can be.  And you know how uplifting kind words can be.  Taking this awareness to heart, I strive in my work and life to put people “up.”  I’m not always successful but I consciously do my best.

   How can you and I best use the power of the spoken word in our daily lives?  
Here are two simple keys:  

• Thinking before we speak is one.  
  
• Realizing and remembering the power of the spoken word is the other.  

Because once it’s out, what we say can’t be retracted.  We can try to correct it, but the effect has already been released and it’s as hard to control as a genie that’s escaped from its bottle.

   Words can have magical powers.  Here’s why.  The words we speak can become prophecies. Studies have shown that teachers who encourage and believe in their students form students who are more likely to surmount difficulties and ace their studies.  Coaches who inspire their players form teams that win in more ways than one.  Parents who give their kids words of support help to form children who grow to become more confident and positive.  Couples who tell their partners every day how much they love them have better relationships.  Friends who inspire their friends with caring words  foster loyal friendships.  And bosses who give positive and helpful feedback develop faithful, hardworking employees. 

   What words have been most meaningful to you in your life?  What are the kinds of words you want to offer to those around you?  Please share your comments below.

   “Today is a good day to die.” These words are attributed to Crazy Horse, the Sioux leader.  Its meaning is akin to “carpe diem,” seize the day.  When we live with that spirit—that every moment counts, it can push us to constantly be on the go.  There’s so much we want to accomplish and achieve.  And especially as the autumn daylight grows shorter, it reminds us that time is of the essence.  We’re driven to take action while there’s still light.  There can be a discomfort, a sense of pressure, a race against time.  Yet the fewer hours of daylight can be an invitation to slow down.  The impending darkness can beckon us to travel inward. 

     Because we don't come with expiration dates.  I thought that would be the perfect name for my blog. Why?  Let me answer by way of a story.  Recently I was asked by a business coach, "What's something unique about you that most people don't even know?"  After some contemplation the answer came with lightening speed.  When I was eight years old I was in a serious accident and almost died.  Yes, I had a near death experience.  Back then, such experiences were never talked about.  And it was especially unusual and unmentioned when it happened to kids.  But because of that experience, I learned at a tender age that life is precious and that what's important is to live a life filled with purpose, meaning, loving and kindness.